a balance between understanding
science and nature while also listening to the higher
callings that are still elements undefined and difficult to
explain in terms of the scientific method (because each
individual produces different results through their own
experiences and connections) .
The modern age is all about
polarization. Here in the US, people pick sides over
everything. We seem to be losing our sense of connection to
the compromise between “what is” and “what can be”. We are
limiting ourselves by turning off our senses and pretending
that there isn’t something beyond what we can see.
I am not speaking in terms of God
and Goddess or a Supreme Being; that is not for me to
decide. All I can draw from is my experiences and what I
have learned from others. During my spiritual path I have
tasted, smelled, felt, heard, and SEEN the unexplained. Many
people have. I am not special, I just do what I can to
balance myself and pay attention to the world around me.
My favorite example of the
connection between biology and the spiritual aspects of
nature is an event that I will never forget. Changes in the
body can create mood swings and even hallucinations, but I
have experienced both and this was neither. My first
pregnancy was a welcome world of excitement. It helped me to
get to know myself better. My energies increased. I am
always careful of spell work and refrained from casting any
kind while pregnant for multiple reasons. Because of this my
personal powers grew.
It has recently been
scientifically proven that people give off energy and that
we can transfer it. Energy transference has always
fascinated me. I am a healer by nature and my most effective
method is through meditations and energy transference. (It
is draining and dangerous at times-hence the care I take
when choosing to engage in spell work) .
I first learned about energies and
personal power from my mother’s father, Grandpa Tom. He was
not a religious man. I do not believe he was into magick or
that he knew what he was teaching me, but the first lesson
he offered has stayed with me. He taught me to envision what
I want to happen to make it happen. He sat down with me one
day and held out his arm. He said, “You can do anything, if
you think about it.”
He told me to hit his hand. I did
and it moved slightly. (I was young and he was a WWII vet) .
He told me to hit it again and do whatever I can to move it.
No matter how I pushed pulled or slapped at his wrinkled
hand it wouldn’t budge. He told me to put my hand out. When
he gave it a tap, it swung. Then he stared at me with his
deep chestnut eyes and said, “I’m going to hit it again, but
you will stop me. Want to know how?”
I shook my head.
He laughed. A spark of knowledge
seemed to dance in his eyes. “Imagine you are holding the
heaviest bucket filled with water. Your arm is weighed down,
it cannot move.”
I laughed and he frowned. “I want
you to really try this, Jessie.” He scowled.
I took a deep breath and closed my
eyes. When I opened them, he gave my hand a hard knock and I
blocked it.
Grandpa was no Mr. Miyagi, but
like most grandparents he had some kernels of wisdom. It’s
amazing how something so simple can take hold and root
itself into your character, help you draw from it for years.
He and my grandma were pillars of the family. After they
died I found myself utilizing their teachings more and more.
Motherhood never scared me. I had
a lot of baby cousins and have always enjoyed being a role
model for little ones, but I did miss the love and guidance
of my grandparents. I always felt closer to my grandmother.
I didn’t realize how much of an impact my grandfather had on
me until years after he was gone. Memories have a funny way
of remaining stored in the brain until you need them. They
come back with vivid perspective when you become a parent.
About half way into my pregnancy,
my cozy little brick house started to feel odd. Homes
sometimes seem to have their own spirits and something
shifted. I began to spot a powder blue light in the hall out
of the corner of my eye whenever I sat in the living room.
It didn’t matter if I was on the couch or one of the chairs;
changing angles didn’t change the glow.
A lot of people told me they had
seen things while they were pregnant so I wrote it off at
first. Vision is known to change due to the hormones as
well. Something about the fluttering kicks inside me had
made me extra observant and paranoid at times, but after a
few weeks, I couldn’t ignore the hue that taunted my
peripheral vision.
Every time I turned to stare at
it, it dimmed and faded. As we neared Samhain, it held
longer each time. At the end of October, I saw the faint
outline of my grandfather, barely visible. Strange things
have happened in my family before. I often “saw things” as a
kid, but this wasn’t a midnight vision that could be written
off as a dream. It was mid-afternoon. I felt him all around
me, could smell him. It seemed natural, like he was just
stopping in for a visit.
Some people write off experiences
like this as fiction, others make them seem too outlandish
to be believed, I was just glad that he came to see me.
I said, “Hi grandpa.” and smiled.
I stood to move toward him. The lights flickered and he was
gone. Blinking, I giggled at myself. I stood in my sweats
and socks, staring at nothing. It definitely wasn’t a scene
from paranormal activity. It inspired me to walk into my
bedroom and pull out the old photo albums to revel in the
past for a few moments.
Running my fingertips over the
smooth pages that enclosed my memories, I stared at aged
snap-shots. In nearly all of them my grandpa was wearing
these ridiculous powder blue pants, perfectly suited for a
grey haired war vet. I sat back and looked down to my baby
bump. “Grandpa came to check on us today.” I rubbed my
belly.
I spent the rest of the night
telling my growing baby about my grandparents.
The more I reflected, the more I
realized how much of a force my grandfather had been. He was
one of those tough old guys that most of us never have the
chance to appreciate until they’re gone, the kind of man who
admired strength and courage. He didn’t like expressing
himself or getting mushy, but he always appreciated honesty.
The aura was gone after this event. It didn’t come back.
When reading or speaking about
scenarios like this, feedback is always mixed, but I’ve
found that most people tend to pick a side. They split and
say that it was either a visit from the afterlife or they
determine that I need my head examined, a visit to an
optometrist or whatnot. I’m just happy that it happened.
The biological changes in my body
could have brought on a hallucinatory memory, or my
grandfather may have felt the need to come see me during my
pregnancy. I see them as one in the same. The instinctual
processes brought on by our chemical makeup may be connected
to drawing the spirit world closer. (I’m also a believer
that nature is nurture and nurture is nature-the nature vs.
nurture theory is very one sided and again, dividing) .
We do not have to pick sides. We
do not have to write off spiritual experiences in the name
of science, nor must we forget that science is merely: the
organized study of a subject. Understanding the world around
us should not exclude the unseen, or in this case, the seen.
Magick is natural and nature is a science. |
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